Has anyone noticed that chamomile tea tastes like hay?

Not that I've eaten hay...

I guess I'm sick. I've been pounding the tropical fruit cough drops non-stop but I just can't handle any more. They're burning a red and blue hole in my tongue. My voice is so raspy that I sound like an older post-tracheotomy Lindsay Lohan. It's kind of awesome, but it also sounds like I've been smoking a pack a day since I was 12. Not Unlike Miss Lohan. Maybe now I can score a role in the Parent Trap 2.
Other vocal inspirations:

Like I said... Nautical Stripes....

Dentists; the only doctors who refuse to work on sick people

So I left the dentist today without cavities but not without reproof. I arrived promptly at 10:03 for my 10 O'Clock appointment, and was not chastised...yet. A dental hygenist showed me to my chair and took some x-rays, and stopped short when I mentioned I had a cold. "Are you carrying a fever? I don't work on people who are sick because then I get sick." "Um...should I reschedule....?" "No it's fine. But I mean, I'm working in your mouth." Yes, yes I realize that. You work for a dentist. I realize the risk here, but she was wearing gloves AND a face mask, what more do you need? I'm not sure what she expected me to say, though I wanted to say "Either ask me to leave or just get on with it". Maybe nobody warned her that if she crossed me I wouldn't be back for two whole years.

Separated at Birth

My Best Idea Yet

So I just joined the Girl Scout cookie mailing list. That's how much I love them, the cookies that is... samoas, thin mints, tagalongs and those peanut buttery ones! The sad part is the only way to obtain these delectable cookies is pure luck. If you happen to know a girl scout, once a year it rains cookies, but if not you're not well acquainted with the under 12 crowd and are generally corralled off with the other 20 somethings in college or at the singles ward, you have no choice but to reach for the keebler. If you're lucky, you'll stumble across a stand of girl scouts on the way out of wal-mart or whilst ambling through gallery hop, but this is a rare occurrence and these happenstance run-ins should not be relied upon to fulfill one's cookie needs. So instead of sitting around on a Friday night hoping a girl scout will knock on my door, I thought the website would be a more proactive choice (and it would free up my weekends). There's a handy cookie finder where you can type in your zipcode to find out if your local girl scouts have begun their sales. Mine have not. Apparently cookie sales take place in the spring. Something about not sending children out canvasing door to door in the cold. Posh. Yet the boy scouts sell Christmas trees in the middle of winter. What do the people need more here? Silly Christmas trees or COOKIES? I understand that the cookie campaign is a way of teaching girls work ethic or something, but wouldn't it be a lot more profitable if they just sold those things to wholesalers? Maybe they should get the brownies to have a competition to see who can pitch the best business model for year-round cookie sales to grocery store moguls or they should at least create a badge awarded to girls who devote sufficient time processing and shipping out cookie orders via the website. I plan to promptly contact the Girl Scout organization and inform them of my brilliant ideas, until then I will patiently nibble on my oreos.
(Note: In the above blurry still from Troop Beverly Hills, Jenny Lewis is standing behind Shelly Lane. Apparently, being or impersonating a girl scout is the first step to becoming a rock star.)

Vending Machine: 1 ; Michelle:1

Ha! Yesterday after a week and a half of emailing with the cafeteria I finally received a $3 refund via interoffice mail from the embezzeling vending machine. Unfortunately, I was only owed $2. I think it's taunting me. It's testing my integrity. I won't be bought vending devil! If I leave the extra dollar on the sidewalk for an orphan to find, can we just call it even? I think that's fair.