Sometimes Fortune Cookies Mock You

Liquefy!

I finally decided to buy a blender. I had an intense desire to attempt to make black bean burgers last night which call for one. In recent weeks I kept thinking of many reasons why I needed a blender (and suddenly I can't recall any). I grabbed the cheapest one at Walgreens and it seems to work alright. But the best part about it is that not only does it have 10 speeds, but rather than numbers each speed has an enthusiastic verb like "chop" "pulse" and my favorite "liquefy!". Some of these verbs seem to be nearly the same thing and some I wonder if a blender is really capable of achieving. I gave "chop" a go for some onions and peppers, but all it did was "liquefy" the bottom vegetables. My frustration lead me to try pressing every button, and in the end result was thoroughly liquified. It looks quite a bit like Calvin's toad stroganoff, but the burgers weren't bad.

Postcards from the Past

Came across a stack of these at an antique shop last week. They had some that were both blank and written on, but I loved reading all the messages, and this one made me laugh. This is from 1925 and my mom found one from 1909!

1985 Called...; Polaroids ≠ Discretion

It would seem using a polaroid camera is akin to birthing an alien baby. On vacation last week, while making instamatic memories, passersby looked slack- jawed and almost horrified at the sight of the blocky thing. One elderly woman even whipped around and exclaimed "I didn't know they still made those things!" I guess that's why they no longer do..., but I'm glad I braved the gawking and took these pictures which I can now look at and pretend I visited via time travel. Another blast from the past post soon to come.

Bowl Cut

Last night I became aware of the ubiquity of the bowl cut. While watching the Yeah Yeah Yeah's play not only did I realize that Amy Tan and Karen O both have the same haircut but so did Karen's doppleganger opener from Grand Ole Party. I wonder if all of them realize they share the same haircut with Saleisha, winner of cycle 9 ANTM. But the similarities don't stop there Amy Tan not only has Karen O's haircut but she's also a member of a band where she does crazy theatrics on stage (which happpens to include other famous writers like Stephen King and Mitch Albom). It just might be that the path to success begins with a bowl cut.

Best Job Ever; Corporate Window Washer

For the last few days I've been watching a crew of five guys in harnesses rappelling off the 5th floor of my office to wash the windows, and it seems like the best job ever. It kind of looks like this, only with buckets and squeegies.

The Unbearable Lateness of Being

Today by some phenomenon of nature I woke up early and was completely alert. I blame the sun for shining in my eyes the three hours prior, but even then my post-adolescent sleep rhythms can usually sleep through blazing daylight. This truly is a sign of the apocalypse as I usually fumble through my "mornings" in a squinty-eyed stupor. As I was already awake I had no choice but to be on time to school. As I walked to class to my surprise there were tons of students out! Imagine! Because of my chronic tardiness I will usually spot just a few meandering library goers and fellow slackers, and it sometimes seems I am the only attendee at this huge university. I was highly surprised to witness some of the rumored 50,000 students trekking to class. Even stranger was how everyone seemed to know each other. What had always seemed like a vast sea of lonely commuters, was more like one giant fraternity. I saw at least one hug (in the middle of the cross walk, no less), multiple shout outs to friends, and a possible high five all on my 10 minute walk. Another adventure in punctuality occurred a few weeks earlier when my sister and I went to a movie thinking it started at an earlier time. We loitered in the theatre for about half an hour where I spotted the Golden Girls (three old ladies) linking arms to steady themselves leaving the theatre. Though kind of a sad sight it warmed my heart to know someday when I'm old and off balance I too can go to a 3:00 Disney matinee with the gals. Yet another gem of voyeurism, I mean punctuality. Apart from attendance points and a slow stroll to class, I never knew what lateness had me missing!